Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Ancient Order of Two-Headed Diabetic Turtles

It's about the turtle, see.
Yes, I'm a member.

These days, it seems an appropriate self-designation would be Slacker in Charge of the Procrastinator's Society. Especially in regard to my D-Life in recent months. Slacking, slacking, and more slacking.

My blood test readings illustrate the trends, which have continued and started bubbling and boiling over from a few points in the day to more widespread periods of time. The brief Dawn Phenom hours in the morning have started stretching all night and most of the morning, while the evening hours post-dinner have gobbled up the entire night.

I'm too nervous to actually analyze what my Carelink data trends might say, but I'd guess I would be in range something like 25% of the time. My OneTouch meter average is 239 mg/dL for seven days and two weeks, and 220 for thirty days.

Um... YIKES!

Energy levels have been lacking lately, and some of those ever-so-pleasant neuropathy pains in the feet have returned when numbers skyrocket - my own version of a "warning bell," so to speak.

At this rate, I'm quickly zooming in on a 9.0 A1c or higher - taking me back to pre-DOC levels.

This isn't where I want to be. Not by far.

I recently canceled an Endo visit with Dr. P in late April, but am looking forward to my first meeting with a new CDE in her office who happens to be a longtime Type 1 herself.  I'm hoping she'll be able to help me get my act in order as both a "medical professional" and fellow PWD, though it'll be interesting to see what happens in regard to my latest slacking trends.

Excuses do no good. Life has been stressful and busy and the storm clouds have built up everywhere, and I think that's just helped fuel my desire to come home from work and try to just veg out and relax as much as possible. With the combined energy and productivity depletion coupling with the High BGs and falling-behind feeling overall, everything keeps adding up. Thyroid level wackiness has probably helped along the way, too.

Unplugging from the DOC a bit has helped me regain some focus. Of course, I do miss those friendships and everyone and that level of regular interaction and support. But it's serving a purpose.

On top of that, I am praying again after a long time of turning away from God. I'm reevaluating and reinvesting in that relationship, and being mindful to work on all of those other important relationships in my life that are so essential. I'm reminding myself often how good life really is, despite the challenges, and how lucky we are to have each other. And really how the tools exist to move forward and actually do something about it all - particularly my D-Life slacking. 


Maybe just being able to talk to someone on the medical end who "gets it" can offer some perspective, balance, and focus on what's ahead. I'm looking forward to that.

So, without further ado, I'm tearing up my membership card in the Procrastinator's Society. 

Basal testing (evening, overnight, morning). Eating discipline and more accurate carb-counting in the evening hours. Implementing that "planned for" exercise plan. Enough rest, but balancing the needed creative and intellectual mental exercises with some ever-important relaxation and fun. Organize what needs to be organized. Honest self-examination and facing fears and challenges. And so much more. It's time to move away from the Creed and stop living on the motto of: "I will never do today what I can put off until tomorrow." 

There's a long way to go, and it won't be easy. 

But it's time to step forward and embrace the wisdom once eloquently-voiced by Tim Robbins in the new classic 1994 flick Shawshank Redemption:

5 comments:

Kim said...

Good for you, for wanting to make positive changes in life - tough ones, at that. You've got a whole group of cheerleaders behind you, you know! :)

Simon said...

A fantastic heart felt post Mike.
I share so many of the same battles and really admire your honesty. Here's hoping that through prayer, family and community you can get on top of things. I'll keep you in my prayers and consider myself so lucky to have met you.
Hang in there brother

Sysy said...

awesome awesome awesome. I wrote a post about all the things that movie teaches us lol. Anyway, I think your attitude is in a wonderful place. Hang in there and just take one day at a time.

Cherise said...

Baby steps!!! Sometimes we have to step away to take care of US:) i'm proud of you and if you need anything you know my numbers!

btw, you mentioned exercise?!?

Natalie said...

I've been there, done that, and almost died in a coma. What it taught me was that no matter what else I DON'T do, bed unmade, laundry undone, and dishes unwashed, I WILL take care of my diabetes. Priority number one! If I need to change my set, I need to do it NOW, not later. If I need to test, and I'm watching a video, I pause it and go test NOW. Sometimes I REALLY don't want to, and I fight with myself, but so far, I'm winning. You can too.