Friday, March 4, 2011

The King of Diabetes Rock N' Roll

Those of us in the Diabetes Online Community are music lovers, and we're loyal followers of the magical musical phenomenon known as BluntLancet. (#BluntLancet, for those Lanceters on Twitter). We've come to know the story Behind The Music and even learned of some hidden lost albums of those years long past and rumored new releases on tap.

But a recent episode of Lows in my own D-Life revealed the makings of a truly epic Blunt Lancet secret, a golden nugget that can only be described as a secret that the world would marvel at. It may very well be destiny or will of the Diabetes Gods who made this revelation happen with the help of a Low Blood Sugar.

It started with the classic symptoms: shaky limbs, falling body temperature, blurry vision, sweating and shivering. Getting lost on the way to the vending machine, and trying to be all "professional" in the workplace, I went back to my desk and started munching on glucose tabs as some musical vibes entered the mind:

(Cue background music of Elvis Presley's All Shook Up..)

“My hands are shaky and my knees are weak.
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet.
What do you think when you have such luck?
I’m in a Low... (tongue click)
I’m All Shook Up."

Eating some vending machine snacks while sitting at my desk, my toe kept tapping to the beat that was still playing in my head.

"I'm a little mixed up, but I'm feelin' fine..."

Actually, not quite yet.

“My tongue gets tied when I try to speak
My insides shake like a leaf on a tree.
There's only one cure for this body of mine
And that's a snack of the sugary kind.”

Gradually, I could feel my BGs rising - and that kicked me into the next tune, Burning Love:

"Lord Almighty,
I feel my BGs rising
Higher higher
Burning through to my soul
Carbs carbs carbs you're gonna set me on fire.
My CGM's flaming
Doesn't know which way to go.

Oooo ooo ooo
I'm still a rising
Way above, one hundred and nine."

Within a couple hours, my Minimed CGM began displaying clear evidence that a High BG was stepping on my Blue Suede Shoes. It proclaimed "High Predicted" on several occasions, even though my One Touch UltraLink disagreed. The 200s and Above really weren't higher than the mid-100s or so, though the Up Arrows indicated an upward rise.

Hmmm.... (cue Suspicious Minds):

"We're caught in a trap
But I can't walk out.
Because I love you too much, CGM.
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When I don't believe a word you say?
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds."

Yes, Larry the Loaner CGM - you're Always On My Mind. But please, Don't Be Cruel. Just Love Me Tender. But no. We're navigating the narrowing roads In the Ghetto, and frankly, sir, You Aint Nothin But a Hound Dog. If you don't behave, I'll have to Return To Sender your CGMing.

I thought to myself, "Boy, these would be good tunes for Blunt Lancet..."

Suddenly, it all clicked into place. These hits sounded very similiar to what the world eventually came to know in the 90s as Blunt Lancet, but what if they'd been around long before that. What if... there was truly a relationship between these BGs and musical lyrics jiving through my mind?

Immediately, I went into intrepid reporter mode. Determined to find evidence, I turned to Google. Quickly, the answers began pouring in.

As some have claimed, Elvis may have been a member of our Diabetes Community. Possibly a Type 2. Medical evidence doesn't counter or confirm this, so there is one potential clue. Not to be confused with Elvis, The Diabetic Cat. No, the real rocker. Sure, we know of B.B. King and Stevie Wonder and Bret Michaels and our own Ninjabetic, but to have the King of Rock N' Roll within our ranks... Wow. Then, there was evidence that he is in fact still alive - 880,000 hits on Google to "Elvis is alive." Clearly, it's not that unheard of like those ridiculous claims about UFO sitings, Area 51, aliens building the pyramids, and cinnamon curing chronic conditions. The online reports appear to show that The King IS alive, and that he may have even evolved into a rockn' D-Blogger through the years! One site claims he actually lived 16 more years and that diabetes took him out in 1993, while others "report" that he's still alive.

Based on that research, the question becomes: what if he didn't really die in 1977 as everyone believes, but instead faked his own death and instead went underground to become The King of Diabetes Rock N' Roll? He transformed the hits he'd had in his own legendary musical career into early albums such as Always on my D-Mind, Suspicious CGMs, Blue BGs in Hawaii, Viva La Diabetes? Pot Luck Meals We CAN Eat, and Jailhouse D-Police.
One quick sighting of The D-King
over at The Diabetic's Corner Booth.

Tunes that would never be released publicly, but stored for more than a decade until discovered and used to usher in the next generation of D-Music?

Was Elvis the true inspiration and "creator" of BluntLancet, doing so in the days long before even Logbook and those early names were a glimmer in the DOC's eye?

We may never really know. Maybe he really did go underground, living in the labrynths that snake below Graceland like tangled pump tubing under our clothes. There, he not only created the flip sides to his albums but also managed his own diabetes as was possible in those days, before one day hearing on the radio waves a demo of a new band called Logbook that could carry on his musical genious. Could it be, that the King of Rock N' Roll may have also been the King of D-Rock N' Roll?

Without that clear answer, maybe I'll never know whether those tunes were a simple Low-induced mirage of my own mind. An imaginary back story to the BluntLancet back story. Maybe, just maybe, it was destiny for those lyrics to be stumming the guitar in my mind. So that the true evolution story of #BluntLancet could be told.

11 comments:

Mike Durbin said...

Fantastic post, Mike. ROCK ON!

Jess said...

LOVE this! that about sums it up! :)

Bob Pedersen said...

Fabulous work! I'll be pondering it as I'm "down on the end of a low street, in that Hypo Hotel" :)

Kathy said...

I like these. Music is such a great means of expression.

Jeff said...

Thank you, thank you very much... for posting this.

Kelly Rawlings said...

This post went down as sweet as a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Scott Strange said...

Awesome post, Mike!

Judi said...

I guess playing all those Elvis records to you throughout your childhood left more of an impression than I thought! You know this would be one of my favorite blogs.

Jen said...

I'll be humming these tunes all day long...and yes, I'm now craving a pb and banana sandwich!
Thanks for commenting on my blog.
Yes, I've found and heard from a lot of people that the insurance companies are blaming HCR for these hikes in prices, denying/limiting coverage, etc.
It makes me so mad :(
I really appreciate your input & comments. I'm waiting on a letter from my dr.
Thanks again!

George said...

HAHA, Nice man, very funny!

Kim said...

Mike, I think that Blunt Lancet needs to hire you as a PR rep. This is AWESOME!