Wednesday, June 1, 2011

You There! In the Street!

Every Wednesday is trash day in our neighborhood when the trusty garbage and recycling trucks come by to pick up whatever we've left at the curb.

In our world, we typically leave a few white pull-string trash bags inside a plastic container on wheels. We also put out the green plastic bin for recyclables - miscellaneous glass and plastic bottles, the dog-chewed plastic milk jugs, and a plethora of empty Diet Coke cans. Among other things.

One of those containers usually contains some D-supplies, like discarded infusion sets, empty vials of BG test strips, a neutralized Army of Used Test Strips, backup syringes or tangled pump tubing no longer in use. Random sharpies. Some scattered lancets, if by chance I changed one that past week. Really it just depends on the particular week's activities.

Anyway, the trash and recycling has usually been picked up by the time I return home from work that day.

That was the case on one recent Wednesday. But there was something more to notice that day.

This is the scene I came home to:

See that, right there in the middle...?!?!?!?!?!?!
I walked with my head toward the stormy sky from my driveway into the street, moving across to the right of the pair of mailboxes and collecting the mass of junk mail inside. Then, I turned and started walking back toward my home, this time not inspecting the sky for the approaching storm... That's when I caught the image from the corner of my eye.

I slowed in pace, and slowly turned my head. Not believing at first what I was seeing...

No Way!!! Are you serious?
If it's still not completely clear to you, here's a diagram to help spell out what was being seen here:

You There! In the Street! I. See. You. Both. DON'T MOVE!!!!
Yes, your eyes aren't deceiving you. Those did in fact appear to be D-SUPPLIES lurking in the street.

I'd caught the suspects red-handed in their escape, and I moved in for a closer examination...

The Culprits, up close and personal.

That is an empty test strip vial and plastic plunger that screws into the end of a pump reservoir. On my way to fetch the mail that evening, I noticed these items in the street.

At first, I wondered where in the fructose they'd come from. Are those mine?!?! Could they belong to someone else, ANOTHER diabetic who happens to be a neighbor??? Hmmm.

Those mind games circulated for a moment, before I concluded they were indeed from my trash bag and I'd better take haste in scooping them up.

Yes, the above-mentioned items were present as seen. But also lounging in the street were some other D-Supplies not pictured above. There, lounging nearby the above D-Supplies, were a handful of Used Test Strips.

Or, as you may more keenly know them: Members of the Zombie Of Used Test Strips Who Know How To Stalk Us.

Some may still not understand, so I relay the message in the New Universal Language of Twitter-Speak: #MembersOfTheArmyOfUsedTest StripsWho KnowHowToStalkUs. #RogueStrips #TheyHadEscaped #AsSneakyAsCupcakesAreAwesome #imnotlying.

True Story. They. Were. There.

With my eyes darting over both shoulders like I was hiding a bloody murder in the middle of the street, I quickly collected them to make sure that none of my neighbors saw what was happening. It was as though someone would suddenly appear in a doorway, seeing me there standing above the supplies strewn out in the street, and start pointing and yelling at me: "You There, In The Street!!"

Maybe I'm just paranoid. Rather, maybe my quick clean up was more in line to prevent any of those Sneaky Strips from escaping any further. I grabbed the D-Supplies and dragged the empty trash and recycle bin into the garage, and went inside. That's when I realized: "Hey, that'd be an AWESOME D-blog photo!!!"

Not wanting to fish the test strips from the trash, I grabbed the vial and plunger and with camera in hand went outside to plant them in the street where I'd found them.

And here we are. Now you know.

So, make sure on those days when your trash and recycling is collected, to watch out for sneaky rogue BG Test Strips that might be plotting their escape. They'll do anything to get away and and venture out into the real world, even if that means hanging out on the streets until they can hitch a ride to some non-meter haven.

May this be your warning to capture and dispose of accordingly.

10 comments:

Heidi =) said...

Great post! I love your writing! It's crazy where those things will turn up. I went to put my socks on the other day and there on the bottom of my foot was a rouge test strip.

Reyna said...

HA!!! Way to secure the culprits Mike. Loved the hashtags. Twitter and it's speak still elude me somewhat. Maybe someday I'll make the transition. :)

Un-Apologetic Diabetic said...

You crack me up! Loved the zombie test strip comment...they are everywhere aren't they?!?!?! O.O

Crystal said...

Nice! :-)

Trish said...

Hmm. We're not allowed to put sharps and medical stuff in our garbage. In GA the protocol was to place them in a plastic bottle (such as an empty detergent bottle) and label it "contains sharps and medical waste" and place it at the top of the garbage. Here in FL, we MUST use sharps containers and dispose of them through a clinic or other authorized methods.

Trev said...

Too Funny, ya make my belly jiggle Mike. Funny where they ended up.
Cheers!

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

That's awesome!
We have ravens that like to pick at bags on trash day and I've seen alcohol wipes and UniSolve packs and test strips and blood-dotted tissues all over the place after the trash is picked up...or not picked up, I guess would be the case!!

Nikki of Our Diabetic Warrior said...

What in the fructose!!!! LOL Great post!

kim said...

OMG!! great post!! i have found them all over the boulevard after garbage pickup but never thought to "document" the "escape"! now i have a sharps container, which makes it a little more difficult for those sneaky little buggers!!

Anonymous said...

Halarious!

Indeed, my used BG test strips accidentally slip out my pocket onto friend's car seats, my classroom floor, in my driveway, on my lawn, even in my own bed..........those little rascals....