I have a date on Thursday. (Sshhh... Don't tell my wife.)
Don't worry, I'm not pulling a Tiger Woods. Actually, my wife knows about my date and is anticipating it, much as I am. She isn't sporting any golf clubs and I don't plan to have a low while driving down my driveway, leading me to crash into a tree.
No, there's none of that. This isn't the PGA. It's Diabetes Land - Hoskins style.
This encounter is with Dr. P, my trusted endo who's the crucial third leg of my three-legged diabetes care team stool. My wife and I stand sturdy, but we always welcome her support and feedback so the stool doesn't tip in any direction once the huge rear-end of Mr. Diabetes comes crashing down to sit on our life. She's like milk, making us stronger so that we can be better stool legs (stooleys???) and keep this stool standing.
The past month has been a time of greater diabetes control in my life, where I've had many fewer examples of high sugars (I write as my newly-inserted leg site may be showing some fuss...) The ups and downs happen from time to time, but I can quickly get it under control and there's more satisfaction in knowing I've triumphed, at least a battle in the Never-Ending War Against Diabetes-raq. Despite the hilly deserts and mountainous terrain filled with terrorist threats and landmines, I feel as though I'm the General In Control. There's no ground-support and wave of reinforcements; just me, the master General, waving a nuke like a madman in the face of diabetes.
At age 30, I finally figure it's time to become this General more often, make this a constant routine. While there have been some lows and some periodic spikes in sugars lately, I typically know the reason why and can account for both extremes with some extra insulin or food. Pump and infusion set woes always can complicate that care, and create an unwanted rollercoaster ride of blood sugar variance, but that hasn't happened much. Thankfully.
So, with all this, I am eager to hear Dr. P's diagnosis of my past month's test results. Faxing weekly gives her a rundown of how they are, but I look forward to the face-to-face conversation and feedback. Also, I do want to get an idea of what my A1C might be hovering at. The last was at 8.8, so the hope is this has come down. She does an inter-office "unofficial" A1C test while I'm there, but it's not the real version that apparently does a better job forecasting where my three-month level is at.
Sadly, I'm not going all out on labwork this round, even though Dr. P wants it done prior to this coming visit. That'll have to wait. Reason? Insurance. That pesky $1,000 deductible starts over in January, so it would basically be like wasting the amount needed for these tests (roughly $300-400) only to have it count for my deductible for a couple weeks. Coupled with that, our Flex Account period runs through May, so it seems a waste to get the tests now. I'll wait until before my next visit in early March, meaning I can then use my flex for the labwork amount that will then also go toward a deductible lasting through the rest of 2010. Seems more practical, but sadly means I must wait on knowing that "official" A1C.
Anyhow, there's always the peace of mind in continuing the tight control for the next months so that result will likely go even lower, toward that ultimate goal of 6.1 that I've achieved once after initially going on the insulin pump. I'll get there, I know it. But really, I can't wait.
As rock legend Tom Petty tells us, "The Waiting is the Hardest Part..."
Indeed. The anticipation of knowing what the A1C result is can be daunting. It can feel as though you're Free Falling into an abyss of diabetic uncertainty, or that you might actually Breakdown. But, with the love and support of my American Girl, I continue Running Down A Dream that my A1C will reach that desired level. Then, I'll be able to smile in the mirror and say, "'You Got Lucky,' Hoskins." This isn't your Last Dance, but the start of something great.... even a Great Wide Open land where great diabetes care isn't a worry, but a reality.
And so, I wait for Thursday, then March. I'll toast a New Year of better D-control in the meantime, a gift that came a little early this Christmas season. Thanks, 2009. Appreciate the help.