Friday, November 19, 2010
Greedy Vending Machines
You see, my ordeal began the night before.
Quickly, I formed the opinion that it could very well be related to my blood sugar. So, I did a test and sure-enough saw a happy 51 smiling at me from my OneTouch UltraLink.
Had I an extra dollar, I would’ve considered sticking it in the Curse Jar, because I've been known to generously contribute to that fund. But that had been my last dollar. Wasted on the stupid greedy vending machine.
I kicked it once, then tried shaking it to prove that I was the dominant one in control here. Nothing happened. A few strangers appeared from the elevator and another nearby door and eyed my frustration suspiciously, but moved on without a word. The video camera above my head peered down at me like a Big Brother, and I thought twice about shattering the vending machine front with my fist.
“You A-hole,” I told it, again not being so vulgarity-free In Real Life.
Glaring at the Greedy Vending Machine, I challenged it with my eyes. Yet still nothing happened. I could almost hear the laughter of the little hamster in the vending machine, and those watching me from the other side of that video surveillance camera.
My shoulders hung low and realization set in that I’d remain without Skittles. And still Low. Then, I remembered that earlier that day I had eaten the final two glucose tablets in the desk drawer jar back in my office. Moneyless with only an emergency $10 and a plastic ATM card, I resigned myself that I was SOL and wouldn’t find any needed-sugar boost there. I ventured off to my car and after stopping at each of the six levels for others to depart, I was able to get to my car parked on the roof. There, I munched on some glucose tablets that live in my center console. Waiting, a new test after 6 tabs showed me at safe levels to drive home. It was a pretty uneventful evening to report on, but this wouldn’t be the last time that Money Eating Vending Machine would play with my mind.
The next day brought a slew of work deadlines and, of course, a broken coffee pot. I just wasn’t in the mood to walk anywhere for my morning fix, so I grumbled along without it. Luckily, my BGs were steady all morning and the rest of the day. But at lunch, I was desperately tired and stressed and needed something to just feel better.
A Diet Coke came to mind. And in our break room, several cold ones were calling to me.
On top of all this, I’ve felt a little under-the-weather following my annoying three hour trip north for a seminar earlier in the week. And with the holidays approaching but the house cleaning not taking care of itself, I’ve just felt a larger sense of “Blah.” Not to mention some typically higher-than-normal BGs that aren’t making me feel all too cocky about my mid-December endo visit where I’m hoping for a lower A1c.
But as is often the case, my Type 3 Wife saved the day.
In my lunches both days, I found a surprise waiting for me inside the lunch bag: a ham sandwich covered with… BACON!
That is my tale. Use it as you may see fit, to always keep extra change or a dollar bill on hand or just to sidestep those greedy vending machines completely. Because they can be evil, just like those ever-shady wasps that try to assassinate me. But know that even in these dark no-Skittle or Diet Coke days, some silver lining surprises can bring smiles in the form of Bacon or whatever treasure you may appreciate.