My wife made the observation over the weekend about my diabetes. She noted that I haven't been taking care of myself as well as possible. That's true, I haven't. She inquired about how many blood tests I'd done during the past two days... As it turns out, not many. For someone who never gets a break from this, the weekend was actually a pseudo-break from thinking about it 24/7. I am 30 years old, and in my 25 years of being a Type 1, I've had my share of those "lazy" times, against the better judgement of myself, my endo, and everyone else. Thankfully, I haven't suffered severe complications to date, only some more minor ones that have done enough to motivate me temporarily. I hope to continue that non-complication trend as long as possible, so here's a blog dedicated to my desire and committment this week to testing, carb counting, bolus dosing, site changing, and everything else that may be necessary. Additionally, I offer a D-List of Wants that come to mind, randomly and in no particular order:
I want Ninja-control.
I want more body space to connect my infusion sites, without having to skip spots that bear the battle scars of past connections that have stayed in place for too long.
I want a day where my management actually leads to a consistent stream of test results, without mysterious spikes or drops that seem to have no apparent cause.
I want to sleep through the night peacefully and wake up, without falling into an abysee of low blood sugar reactions.
I want a new pump that doesn't have a scratched screen.
I want to write Minimed a letter about the non-sticky infusion sets I seem to have received after switching back from the discontinued Cozmo, sets that I went through way too quickly because of that very non-stickiness.
I want to make my endo happy.
Multi-faceted point: I want the neuropathy and retinopathy and nephropathy to stay away from me. I want my heart to keep on tickin like a Timex as long as possible. I want my nerves and roots to stop causing dental problems.
I want to make my wife happy, and be able to give her everything she wants out of life.
I want more optimism, and less pessimistic realism.
I want to leave work and see my wife, my puppy, and kitten - my motivators to taking better care of my diabetes.
I want a Diet Coke right now, but I suppose I'll settle for icewater.I am hungry, so I want to stop eyeing those yummy Watermelon glucose tabs hiding in my topc desk drawer and instead go out in search of a real lunch, (Maybe a King David Dog State Fair Dog with tots.. Mmmm).
As I've decided the above-want is a priority now, here's the end:
Ultimately, I want a cure so that no other little kids have to live through this and grow up living with it, and get older fearing for all those who might have to live with the D in the future. I want the hope to become a reality, as soon as possible.