Having insulin in the butter compartment (where else?) is like having a security blanket, something to keep me reassured that all will be OK if something goes wrong.
Say, if my insulin bottle is left in the direct sunlight, slips from my hand and shatters on the floor, or just happens to evaporate without my knowing. I'm reassured that there's more in the fridge.
Not at the moment.
Somehow, I forgot to call in a refill in late July. I noticed in early August, but somehow managed to forget
I'm a little nervous, especially since there's been some wire-crossing between my endo and the pharmacy in restocking my supply -- no refills, so the endo has to sign and forward a new Rx, which hasn't happened despite my calls to his office and the pharmacy.
So, after a pump refill over the weekend, I am now down to probably about one more 300-unit amount (or a quarter of a vial). My sugars have been running higher these past several days and I have been correcting more and snacking more, and so it seems my insulin consumption has been even higher lately. And as I'm writing this post, my pump has started giving me the "Low Reservoir" vibration...
Better call the pharmacy to see if the script is filled yet...
I get that some people in the world have little to no access to insulin, and I've already sucked up my #FirstWorldProblem guilt and reconciled my guilty feelings with a donation to Life For a Child to help those who need it most. But in the context of where I live and how my world goes without having the entire global insulin delimma weighing on me, I feel exposed. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and that any wrong move could put me over the edge, falling without a lifeline.
If my stock gets filled today, I am a little worried that I'll have to
get more just before I head off to vacation out of state, and want to
make sure I have enough insulin for that get-away to parts where a local
pharmacy isn't right around the corner.
There's nothing at fault here other than my own ineptitude in ordering insulin and making sure I'm stocked up. It's just one more task in the never-ending roster of things to do, when it comes to life with diabetes.
Maybe I needed this lessson, to remember what it feels like to have that butter compartment unstocked -- at least for a bit.